from customersrock.wordpress.com
We’ve all heard the importance of listening skills. It makes us better communicators and helps us get things done.
But have you taken the time to listen to yourself? And what happens when you don’t?
I was watching a video last night about self-serving bias, or the act of taking credit for success and denying responsibility for failure. It’s something we’re all guilty of from time to time. After all, if we don’t toot our own horn, who’s going to do it for us? And if accepting responsibility for a mistake means potentially losing your job, well then the choice seems clear.
But there’s more than meets the eye. As the video illustrates, taking credit for everything when it was clearly a team effort sounds downright implausible. And if this behavior persists, you may soon find yourself without a team. Who wants to work with someone who steals their thunder all the time? You could get that promotion you keep speaking to your boss about, but you’ll probably end up with a resentful team who won’t support you when it counts.
Here are some questions to think about (I’ll list strategies & solutions in part 2 of this article):
- Have you ever taken the time to listen, really listen to what you say?
- Do your words reflect what you truly think and feel, or do people often misinterpret your intentions?
- Do you often use a self-serving bias, and how does it affect your ability to create stronger teams, or to be a more effective leader?
- Do you ever stop to notice the effect of what you say on others?
- How could a different choice of words have changed the end result?
Stay tuned for part 2.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
This is great stuff. Thank you! I often hear people say something like, “If I stop to listen to myself or notice the effect of my words, someone else will jump in and interrupt my flow”. The interesting thing is, when we try exercises in slowing down and pausing, the speaker often becomes MORE engaging and not less. So is less likely to be interrupted. And the effect is cumulative, the more they speak in a reflective way, the more others reflect on what the speaker is saying rather than running their own shadow story.
My pleasure Kay! Glad you enjoyed it. And your comment really resonates – thanks for that. It’s all about authentic attention in the moment, isn’t it? And how that resultant clarity (from both speaker & listener) creates a positive reinforcing loop.